Original image by There Stands the Glass.
As a gray-haired, Portland-based music and book obsessive, I’m at the dead center of the target audience for Rock* A Mainstream Alternative History of Alternative Mainstream Music. The delirious thought experiment corroborates my deep-seated skepticism of the form.
Even if the motives of author Chuck Klosterman differ from my disenfranchisement- I’m indifferent to Fontaines D.C. 's critically acclaimed 2026 album Dopamine Chamber while I suspect Klosterman currently has it on repeat- I relish his premise.
The Beatles are also-rans, the Velvet Underground is the biggest band in the world and Duran Duran’s “The Reflex” is universally proclaimed as one of civilization’s crowning achievements in Klosterman’s alternate history.
Among my favorite bits is an appendix containing 35 years of sales charts, radio playlists and critics’ rankings in which the underground band Nickelback receives raves while acts like GG Allin are bestsellers. I find Rock* hilarious, but most prospective readers will probably think the book is a one-note gag that doesn’t merit its 300 pages.